Grace.

Grace is a gift, a gift given to us by God, our Father. Grace is "holy", but Grace is not otherworldly in the way it works; it is right here, right now, working on us. Grace knows the harsh realities of us, of the way our world is, and Grace knows all the stuff that we carry around in our big coats with lots of little pockets of hurt, and yet it still covers us. Grace takes the blame, and wipes our slates clean, despite all that. But to say that Grace simply covers us is to sell the powers of Grace short. You see Grace is active. Grace sets to work, rolling up her sleeves and tucking her hair behind her ears. Grace finds the beauty in ugly, dirty things - Grace finds the beauty in us. Grace is much more than I could ever describe. What does Grace look like? Well, the power of Grace can be seen in the transformational power of the resurrection; what once hurt and left a mark has given birth to new life - but more tangibly, I guess, Grace kind of looks like that person you know who walks around accompanied by music; the world is still roaring around them, but it doesn't affect them so much anymore. Grace is here.

I used a personification of Grace purposefully; the name Grace is a girls name, but more powerfully, I think, it speaks of our own human propensity to take something huge - something that is completely mind-blowing - into something we can hold. In our everyday lives we do a disservice to the enormity of Grace. John Newton wrote "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, /That saved a wretch like me. /I once was lost but now am found, /Was blind, but now I see." But how often do we stop and think about those words, and really mull over the profound nature of those sentiments,"I once was lost but now am found, /Was blind, but now I see"? If the gift of Grace was really all we gave it credit for, all we built it up to be, would it have the power to turn a life around?

The subject of Grace has really challenged me in the past few weeks, and I am still struggling with it. I guess I'm just struggling to understand why I've been given it, because I certainly haven't done anything to deserve it. I think there lies the beauty of it though, we are given Grace despite ourselves. I'm trying to show Grace to others in my life and it is hard going a lot of the time, but I know in part it is helping me to understand something of what God has given me and I count myself blessed. I can only pray those around me experience a bit of what that means through me.

Youth Day and Knit-Wits! (a late post, whoops!)

Last week was week 11 of my Essential gap year, and also week two of the "Stepney Knit-Wits" - oh how time flies when you're having fun! Christmas planning for the Smart Crew performance, choir performances, and Christmas on the Farm are all underway, and the chilly weather has meant that it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas here in Stepney. I love Christmas, so I couldn't be happier with the head start, although I know that this is just the calm before the storm in the church calendar!

There were so many highlights of this week, Knit-Wits included, but I have to say, the London Central Youth Day was a spectacular thing to behold. Six of our young people headed out to Denmark Hill to the training college for a day full of fun, with the optional activities of art, dance, rapping, drumming, football, and inflatables to get involved in, as well as a prayer space, a worship band and the filming of a video to enjoy. It really was fantastically co-ordinated by Sue and the gang and it really opened our young people's eyes up to their wider community in the division, to new and exciting activities, and also to other Christian young people. After we had finished, the staff from Youth Club were invited back to one of our young people's houses for sausages, soup and sensational fireworks. It was the perfect way to celebrate the end of such a beautiful day, surrounded with those we love and serve!

Benjamin Still's accidental Teddy-Bear Y-fronts from the first week!

As I mentioned, this week also marked the second session of "Stepney Knit-Wits", which is a community knitting circle. Knit-Wits is a venture that I've really felt led to start up over this past year and it has finally come into fruition, with the support of my lovely Corps Officers, Nick and Kerry. One of the brilliant things about my particular stream of Essential is that I was already a part of this community prior to starting Essential. This has meant that this year I have just been able to focus on building up relationships in the community and growing in the family I already knew. The Knit-Wits has really grown from this family feeling, and what a wonderful family it is! It has not provided a great space for members of our church and the wider community to come together and knit, but also to use the space as a means by which they can seek support from their fellow knitters. I'm really encouraged by the way that the Spirit is moving in this group; there is just something out of this world about how comfortable our living room feels every Friday
morning. I'm so incredibly blessed by each of our Knit-Wits, they bring so much joy to my week, and I look forward to seeing how we grow as time goes on.

Community!

Hello, again! Week 10? Alrighty then! Last week the Corps officers were on a well deserved holiday with their family, and so the Corps was running on a reduced programme, which meant we all got a week to relax and re-energize ahead of the Christmas half term, and it was beautiful! I got to spend some quality time with old friends (my bed included), cook dinner for my lovely discipler Ruth and her daughter Lucy, and I also was afforded some reflective moments, where I could just re-charge and re-connect.

Before we broke up for the holidays, both my housemate and I showed some visiting French Junior Soldiers, their chaperones and their officer, Major Florence Bruno, around Stepney Green to show them what we get up to and to give them a sense of our Corps' ministry - which naturally included finishing with tea and cakes in our living room. In return, they sang us their "Torchbearers" (Scouts) song in French and showed us a presentation of the activities at their home Corps in Nice, France, as well as giving us some tastes and smells of Provence. It was a lovely evening, they were such a blessing to us and the stories they told us about their corps were really encouraging.

Divisional Prayer Meeting

Divisional Prayer Meeting

This amazing sense of unity continued into this week because, as well as the usual programmes, I was able to attend a TELCO meeting (The East London Community Organisation - a founding chapter of London Citizens), as well as a Divisional Prayer Meeting, all on the same night! The TELCO meeting was really cool, as community action groups across Tower Hamlets gathered to discuss what we could be doing to help those within our communities who need it the most. Just seeing how much love and passion local people had for their area gave me a great deal of hope; God is working here in Tower Hamlets through all those people! We then headed off to the Divisional Prayer Meeting at Regent Hall on Oxford Street where we saw the cultures of our division unite in an evening of praise, fellowship and prayer. The flags displayed around Regent Hall served as a powerful visual tool to demonstrate quite how diverse London Central Division is, and I had no idea what half of them were! It occurs to me how overwhelmingly blessed I am to be a part of such a loving church, and indeed a wonderful wider community, who, regardless of language barriers and cultural differences, is united in such a strong sense of purpose. If this is just a glimpse of what God is doing with the Salvation Army right now, it makes me very excited!

Where are you in your journey?

As I write this I am reminded of Revelation 7:9 (NIV) which reads, 'After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands'. I think I saw a little bit of what that could be like on Wednesday and it just overwhelmed me. It was such an encouraging sight to see so many countries represented by the people of London Central Division, just beautiful. We are blessed.

All in God's time

It has been two weeks since I last posted, and I find myself just about to begin week 9 and the half term holidays here. I think I say it most weeks, but it really has astounded me quite how fast this is all going. In the past couple of weeks, lots of really awesome and encouraging things have happened, and I thank God daily for the wonderful experiences that I get to be a part of here in Stepney, they give me so much hope for what He has in store for us and they make me very excited for these young people's futures.

Last week was Eid-ul-Adha, a feast which celebrates the story of Ibrahim (Abraham) and Ishmael (Isaac) and we had used our prayer time at Church to pray for the Muslim people who are a part of our programmes and our communities and also to make Eid cards for them with the Lord's prayer in Arabic on the front. I dropped mine around to our neighbour, and he popped over on Tuesday to wish us a happy Eid, give us a platter of sweets and invite us over for food. Whoever said community was dead in London, ay? Another beautiful moment to behold was our Smarties session this week where they explored the last few chapters of the story of Esther through Veggie-Tales, song writing, a clue hunt and potato experiments, and we also talked about human-trafficking. At the end, one of the little boys prayed aloud for "anti-transporting" and another wrote a song which read "I love you God, I love you God, I love you more than cake!" - our kids really are the best!

Psalm 27:13-14 (NIV) reads 'Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord' and this verse has really spoken into my heart this week. I have felt my calling being challenged in so many different ways in the past few weeks, through things that I have had the chance to be involved in, though all the amazing things I see and also through things that have happened to me. At times, I have caught myself just wish I had a hotline to God, to just ask him if it's all going to work out, or ask for some kind of instruction, and at times, I have wondered "why me, Lord?" Studying the story of Esther this past half term with the kids has really challenged me to think more about how I live out my faith. The story tells us how we can be brave with God, that with faith anything is possible, and although sometimes things that we are going through might seem tough, they are all an important part of God's plan - that we are all an important part of God's plan. Seeing the Bible through the eyes of a child really made me wish that I could experience God like them, to have a love as pure and as faithful as that little boy who wrote "I love you God, I love you God, I love you more than cake!" Oh, how marvelous that would be!

Walk by Faith

A lot has been going on this past week, particularly this weekend, and it has been really good fun! There were so many amazingly encouraging moments this week, like Smarties where I got to lead the younger group and we discussed Esther and how God makes us brave when we face things that scare us and we made shields and bravery badges to remind us about the story, or like the Big Green Game show where we hosted the Big Green members and their families for a night of assorted game show rounds, and where they got to know other parents and the Youth Leaders too, or when I was given the opportunity to lead prayer time during the Sunday service and we prayed for our Muslim neighbours and made them cards for eid with the Lord's Prayer in Arabic on the front. I think one particular moment which really stood out for me was the Think Big Green youth home group on Sunday where a handful of our young people discussed their faith and what they thought about the Bible. We were amazed by quite how strong and well developed their opinions were for eleven and twelve year olds, because we had never wanted to impose any sort of ideals or opinions of our own on them. I'm just reminded time and time again about how incredibly blessed we have been to have shared in this past year with them and so see them turning into the wonderfully unique people we see today, not scared to share their opinions or to stand up for the things that they believe in, whether that fits in with the Christian faith or not.

The story of Jesus walking on water in Matthew 14:22-33 has really stuck with me this week, particularly the point at which Jesus beckons Peter out onto the water and he falters. Verses 29-31 read

'“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I think sometimes it's quite easy to "talk the talk" but when it comes to the crunch we struggle to "walk the walk". In this particular story we see Peter challenge Jesus  “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” (Matt 14:28) Peter wants proof that it really is Jesus, and so he asks Jesus to prove it by allowing him to walk on water and so Jesus simply responds with "Come". When Peter sees the wind and becomes afraid, he begins to sink and has to be rescued. 

How much of this resonates with you in you walk in faith? If I'm entirely honest I feel like it reflects my walk sometimes. I have been praying for God to help me to sand away at those rough edges that I have, the ones that keep me from serving Him with my all, but yet, when He does work on me, and it does challenge me in ways I never expected, I falter and I sink. I forget that with these changes and with these struggles I need to continue walking the life of faith that I had when times were easy, and trust that with Him, anything is possible to overcome. I forget all the while that I asked for this, and that He has actually responded to me, inviting me to experience something of his awesome refining power. He hasn't left me on my own, He is right there beckoning me forward and inviting me to walk on the water like Peter, and I guess that means the best is yet to come!

Toast!

It is week five already and goodness, has it been a busy week! I sang, danced, made lots of toast, ate toast, painted with vegetables, washed up, ran around, pretended to be a bean, drank a lot of tea, held babies, ran around some more, played scrabble, and have helped to set up and witnessed a Dedication ceremony. I love that my role within the church has such a fantastic bias towards the silly and fun!

So much happened this week, I can hardly believe we did so much. The highlights of my week were probably watching members of The Big Green Youth Club doing their straws and smarties relay for crazy games night, baby Nathaniel's Dedication, and listening to the young people at our Think Big Youth Homegroup get so excited about talking about the Bible that they were talking over each other trying to share their thoughts. As hectic as it has all been, the madness of crazy games night included, I wouldn't change a bit of it. I can see God at work in all of the young people that we are blessed to encounter, and it makes me incredibly excited for them - we serve an awesome God! This Essential year just keeps getting more and more exciting!

Perhaps inspired by baby Nathaniel's dedication, or maybe just all that moving around, the theme of journeys has really woven it's way through my week on so any different levels. From the hazy, overwhelming "ahhh!" of last week, it has moved onto quite a mellow and reflective experience this week, as I was blessed to have a couple of really good chats that helped me to put everything into perspective. In life it's hard not to get caught up in all the madness of it all. I think we often find ourselves so concerned about all the baggage that we brought with us banging around in the back of the car that we don't really take in what is passing us by. I often find myself overwhelmed by the grace of God, as I struggle to fathom quite how much He has forgiven me. At times, the weight of what He has planned for my life scares me still. But I know that I serve a great God, one who is capable of the impossible and the improbable, and who loves me dearly. This year is an amazing opportunity to just see where He is at work around me and I need to just enjoy it. I feel like God has spoken this into my life this week, through the people I have encountered, and through the wonderful simplicity of quite what we do at Stepney. As 1 John 4:19 reads, 'We love other because he first loved us", and that's pretty cool.

Harvest week at the Salvation Army in Stepney

And thus marks the end of my first "real" week at my placement Corps in Stepney Green, East London. I can hardly begin to describe it, so much has happened in such a short space of time. If I had only one word to describe this week it would be overwhelming - not in the sense of "Ahhh! I can't do this!", although there were some moments,  more overwhelming in the sense that I think I grasped just some of the importance of this next year for me, and it all kind of knocked me sideways. I'm not entirely sure how my Corps Officers keep up with themselves during the week, but I have strong suspicions it involves coffee and an IV drip, or Hermione's time-stopping pocket watch from Harry Potter, or body doubles... suggestions on a post card...

This past week I was thrown in at the deep end and I really appreciated that. Early on in the week I was blessed enough to hang out with our performing arts group, Smart Crew, and then on Tuesday I got to help lead Smarties, our after-school church club, where we made spy props like mustaches and glasses and talked about Esther Ch.4 and being spies for good in our playgrounds. It seems I also have a new nickname, kindly gifted by the younger members of Smarties. My not-so-secret spy name is now "Potty" (sound familiar, Dad?) which I'm actually feeling kind of happy about. I mean, if they give me a nickname, they like me, right? Haha! The rest of the week was spent in study, helping to prepare things for Harvest and Youth Club stuff, which included my first 1-2-1 mentoring session with one of our young people - just awesome!

The Harvest Festival on Sunday went really well, as we saw food being shared across a real cross-section of the community projects that Stepney is involved in - it was super cool! Babysong mums and toddlers, members of Smarties, members of our church, residents of Booth House Lifehouse and masters students from Queen Mary... I can't imagine a better picture of community than that, or indeed a better picture of His Kingdom. I'm still blown away that two of our two "Big Green" youth club girls showed up to help. It's amazing quite how much they seem to have grown up in a year, and we're so blessed to be able to be a part of that.

I saw a lot of God's love and provision this week in that afternoon alone, it was really quite overwhelming. God is good and He is at work here in Stepney. Much like Esther in Chapter 4, and our Smarties spies in their playground, I know we are here for such a time as this, to do good and help the people that we live alongside see the light that was already in their community - the community that we saw sharing in a meal on Sunday. I just can't get over quite how blessed I am to be surrounded by these people.

A Week Up in Bonny Ol' Yorkshire... The Final Week of Training!

Well, what can I say? Our three weeks of residential training has come to an end, and I find myself back at home with my wonderful Stepney family, readying for what the next year will bring- crazy, huh?

This past week we have been up in the Yorkshire Dales, staying at the Westwood Christian Conference Centre in Slaithwaite, which was quite possibly the most beautiful place I have ever been to in the UK - it was just incredible. From where the conference centre was, you could see all the way across the valley, even when it was raining (oh, okay, it was mostly always raining, but my point remains valid - a very cool view!) It also had a swing right in the middle of the meeting hall, which was awesome!

Whilst we were here, we spent two days looking at the mission being lead by Andrew Grinnell and his lovely wife, Maggie, in East End Park, Leeds, and also learning more about interfaith youth work from The Feast, an initiative set up to bring Muslim and Christian young people together. I saw God at work in so many ways  this past week and was particularly moved by the work in East End Park and the wholehearted commitment of the Grinnell family to their community. Their mission statement was simply "Open hands. Open hearts. Open eyes." and it really struck a chord with me. He led a really powerful seminar with us on the forgotten five% in the United Kingdom and an in-depth study of Isaiah 61, where we explored missio dei (mission of God) and how it was less of the Church bringing God to the people, and more of the mission of the Son and the Holy Spirit through the Father, which includes the Church.

As we were discussing this I remembered the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, where we are called 'the salt of the earth' (Matt. 5:13). You see, salt does not give food the flavour, but encourages out the flavours which already exist and enhances them, compliments them - and it occurred to me that this how we should be in ministry. As Andrew had explained to us, too often is ministry a case of people thinking that they are bringing God with them into what they plan to do, when He is already there and we are just there to seek out Him in all we do. Like Rowan Williams (former Archbishop of Canterbury) said, "Christian mission is about finding out where God is at work and joining in." Isaiah 61 is a powerful chapter, and calls for us to serve the next generation, and to be active in our seeking of justice and righteousness - especially for those whose voices simply are not heard. But more than anything, we should be working to emphasize the flavours that already exist, the God-given gifts of those we serve, because it is not "us" that 'will rebuild the ancient ruins, and restore the places long devastated' (Isa. 61:4) but '[Them]'.


I can't even begin to collate this past week, I learned so much and even had the opportunity to go down a mine-shaft and experience our own little slice of Sweden - Essential just keeps surprising me! Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we embark upon our first week of placements.

Hope you have a nice week!

ALOVEly time at William Booth College!

Goodness, how can I even begin to describe the past week of training? Utterly exhausting, exciting, moving, inspiring, reaffirming... the list goes on! We stayed at the William Booth College in Denmark Hill, London, and we focused on discipleship and mission within the Church, particularly within the Salvation Army; identifying what distinguishing features our expression of Christian mission and discipleship has by looking at our heritage. We also looking at different interpretations of that mission now, which included a lovely visit to Stepney to speak to Nick and a great seminar on the founding of ALOVE. As well as that, we enjoyed a lovely evening with the TYS' and their lovely family and got to go rock climbing too! (We've worn a lot of harnesses and helmets in our training... Essential is a very dangerous venture, it seems...)

Being relatively new to the Army, I found elements like the visit to the Heritage centre, the trail through East London, and the visit to the Founder's grave really quite fascinating, but one thing that really struck me was something that Lt. Colonel Sandy had said before the trail. He had said that to really know where you are going, you have to know where you come from, and it's true. Within the context of last week's training, and our chats with ALOVE and Nick, I realised that actually a lot of our "new" ways of approaching Christian mission are actually quite old. Certainly, Booth was unconventional and incredibly creative in his ministry, and as a result of his attentiveness to meeting the needs of his community he reached out to many people through the services that The Salvation Army provided. Something I encountered this week, for which I cannot remember where I read it or heard it (there's been a lot to process this week, I'm sorry!), said that if it is true, i.e it works, it probably isn't new - and I cannot seem to shake it from my head, I'm still sort of figuring it out what I think it really could mean to my idea of mission. In one sense I felt really inspired by the history of The Salvation Army and the incredible figure of William Booth, but in another, I kind of felt like we had maybe lost our focus, our reason for being here right now, and that isn't found in the way the chairs face, or making sure all the Songsters have the same bags, but in the people that God has called us to serve in the communities we live in. Much like Booth did in the founding of The Salvation Army, we need to be attentive and creative in the way that we respond to people's needs - and note that I say "respond", because we need open ears and open minds too.

This past week been instrumental in my understanding of mission and discipleship, and has been quite thought provoking too, and for that I'm incredibly thankful. We have been blessed to encounter each and every person that we have this past week, and I am full of hope and excitement for our Army and it's future because of them, and what God is doing through their lives.

And now we embark on the last week of training, and we are up in Yorkshire, hurray!

First Blog Post!

And so my Essential gap year has begun at last (hazzar!), and I find myself in my second week of training and at William Booth Training College, in South London. It has been a wonderfully engaging and inspiring couple of weeks so far; we've been team building, adventuring and exploring in Gilwell Park, and I've also been making plans for this next year with my church family. I'm more excited than ever before to embark on my placement at Stepney Green Salvation Army, they are wonderful and I simply cannot wait to spend this next year growing with them!

Personal challenges this past week have been numerous, and I'm learning to be more ready to accept change and also to accept new challenges that may face me - including leaps of faith from scaffolding platforms really high up! I've learnt a lot from the a-lovely ALOVE UK team, and the Essential students too, but more than anything I've really enjoyed the periods of reflection following our discussions and seminars. God has revealed himself to be at work in all the individuals that surround me, in the beautiful and dynamic settings we stay in, and also in me too. I feel like I'm teetering on the brink of a  big change in my life, and not unlike that leap of faith in Gilwell Park, I am on the edge of the platform surveying where I'm meant to be going and readying myself for that leap of faith, knowing that God will guide me and keep me safe - and that is wonderfully exciting!

For now, good bye, and may God continue to bless you and keep you!